A big alien and a little alien were flying around in saucer one day when the big alien said "look, there's planet earth, lets take a closer look". The little alien said they would get in trouble because their boss told them to stay away from earth, but the big alien said "don't be a coward", and flew a little closer.
The big alien said "I'm going to land", and the little alien threw a fit and begged him not too, but the big alien said, "Don't be afraid" and landed the flying saucer right in the middle of the Mojave desert.
The big alien said "Lets go for a walk", and the little alien said "we'd better not, we'll get into big trouble". The big alien called him a coward, and away they went on a hike in the desert. They came to an old abandoned gas station, and saw one of the old tall gas pumps with the glass ball at the top. The hose was wrapped aroung the pump a few times and the nozzle was in the socket on the other side of the crank. Thinking it was an earthling, they said "Take me to your leader". The gas pump did not respond. The big alien said "Listen you little piece of earth poop, TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!". The gas pump did not respond. The big alien whipped out his ray gun and said "I'm warning you"; and then zapped the pump. There was still a little old gasoline in the tanks and it exploded. The two aliens landed in cactus a couple hundred yards away. The little one said "See, I told you we would get hurt". The big alien said "Your right, never mess with anything that has a penis long enough to wrap around itself three times and stick it in their ear".
