At the deer campfire.

[Bigolwiggler]

### ### ### ### ### ### ### To set the stage;

Just pulled into camp , the fire is already goin sun is about an hour below the ridge. I see I see old Ray has one hangin in the tree high enough ###to keep the bears off it. ###

Nice buck , 3x3 huh! ###I hobble over to the fire with a grapefruit sized bruise on my left bun , Ray sneaks a chuckle and a smirk as I carress it tenderly, "i told you those rocks down at the creek were slick" he says.
Yea , its not buggin me as much as the shot I took at a 3x4 without a shell in my chamber , The CLICK sent him crashin into the woods!
Ray silently shoots me another one of his smirks , knowin he'd ###better not rib me too much in my current state of mind.

Hey whos that walkin up to camp? , says Ray .
Aw , its probably grumpy or spectr or Big Dog .................................................. ..............................
......................................Wonder how they did.

[Bigolwiggler]

Whats that smell , Says Ray, ### ###Oh ###,, it must be Skank sneakin up to camp. ### We need to take that boy down to the "crick" with a bar of soap............

[BigDog]

Ok, we hit the water a the first grey of dawn. We spend 4 hours of fighting, walking rapids and strainers. We finally get to the spot I want to hunt. A couple hours of upacking the boats, hauling the gear into the shade and setting up camp. I take a nap. My son Shawn and friend Kenny gear up and head out. An hour before sunset, I wander out and glass a few deer. Decided to go back to camp and start dinner. Shawn and Kenny came back with stories but no deer.

In the morning, they jumped out of bed and were gone long before dawn. I slept in, had breakfast and headed out. Saw a few bucks that were moving too fast or were too far away during the morning. Around noon, I sat down and ate my lunch. When I stood up to leave, there was a decent forked horn about 30 yards from me eating leaves from a tree.

Around 4, Shawn and Ken drag into camp. Burned up, beat up and butt tired. I was sitting there drinking a beer while my deer hung in the shade. So, for the next two days, I took pictures and just relaxed while they worked their butts off and came up empty handed. They were both determined to get their deer without any of MY assistance. I smiled for the next couple weeks.

[spectr17]

and finally here comes Spectr17 dragging into camp, his every other step a loud "Squish", Squish". He just had to cross that creek he ran into that morning to see what the other side held and the old boots had finally given it up with a leaker.

Spectr17 eyes Ray's nice buck swaying in the shade and smiles at the group already huddled around the campfire. He wonders if he packed enough socks to get through the weekend. After leaning his Daisy Red Rider against the juniper Spectr17 wonders over to the fire for some conversation and coffee to warm up his insides. It's been a long day and the hike after the buck that was laying down the humongous tracks in the snow was never even glimpsed.

Shaking hands with everyone and saying hello to BigDog and his son Shawn and Kenny, Spectr17 then spies Bigolewiggler's Bugs Bunny house slippers and exclaims aloud ..............................

[Fubar]

AAAAAAAAA WHATS UP DOCK?

[Bigolwiggler]

Well at least my feet are warm and dry Spectr ........more than I can say for yours ( Ray hands me a cup of his famous coffee, we forgot the filters so some chewing is required.)

....Sssssssiiiiiiiiiiiipp......OOOh ###that hot......

You guys will be beggin for these slippers ###in a few more days , you'll see , and I'll ###be the one laughing ! ### ### ### ### ### ### ###( rubbing that sore left cheek once more )

Spectr , get that wet boot off and put it over next to ###the fire , I dont want to hear you whinin tommorow .

( Big Dog nearly gets a mouthful of Sierra soil on his way back from the makeshift out house , seems he tripped ###over one of my well placed tent stakes )

Nice recovery Big Dog !! ###Hee Hee



Makin ###a trip over to the coffee pot to get a warm up,
I silently notice the ears on old "bugs" stoutly and proudly standing at attention.

Ray then reminds me ###"Bigol , remeber its your turn to cook dinner tommorrow ###night."...................

Ok ,I says to Ray..... ### any requests?...............

[BigDog]

Yea, I have a request says Big Dog. How about fixing something besides pork and beans with sausage. I know you are proud of that sausage Bigolwiggler but it is time for you to expand your menu.

Just about that time, Speckmisser comes dragging into camp. Hot, dusty, scratched, poked and thirsty. He has had a hard day of chasing that Porky Pig all over the countryside and Porky won today.

Pull up a log and rest your bones Spectr17 tells him. Then tell us your big tale of the day Speckmisser.

[Hogskin]

Ol' Speck ambles up to the campfire and drops his pack and rifle and sits down on a rock, fishing in his shirt pocket for a smoke. Producing a Zippo lighter and a pack of crumpled Lucky Strikes, he straightens one out and lights it, smiling with pleasure as the harsh, dry smoke fills what's left of his lungs. ###“I hate them pigs, every durn one of 'em!" he starts, as his heart thumps and bumps against his ribs. ###He reaches into the ice chest, fetches a cold Rolling Rock and twists off the top. ###He pours the golden liquid into his pie-hole and wipes his dirty face on his threadbare sleeve. ###"You wanna know why I hate them pigs so much??? ###Go ahead, ask!...."

[Speckmisser]

You guys are asking for it... just don't say you weren't warned!

But first, I gotta step behind the trees over here. ###Been holding this all evening!

[LadyMarlin]

Speckmisser stepped into the woods and after fumblin with a zipper or two went silent. The others around the campfire started discussing their dream campfire dinner. Spectr reached for another cup of java and Hogskin handed him a moonpie to dip like a donut. Tales of foil wrapped tators and big juicy venison steaks were floating around the campfire when a shriek echoed from the woods. Everyone jumped up, knocking their sitting stumps over and looked to see Speckmisser half running, tripping over his own feet, toward them. He was fumbling with his zipper and shouting something that the guys couldn't quite make out. Once he jumped over the sitting log and into the crowd of men, he tried to tell what had him so upset. But he was so startled and winded it came out in broken sentences...

"thar..that..it..big...ugly....brown hair...down to here with...long ..long..gnaring teeth...fangs...claws...big claws..sharp! It....IT growled at me.!!!" was all they could make out.

Fubar was the first to reach for his rifle, while BigDog tried to calm Speckmisser. BigoWiggler wanted to know about the wet streak down Speckmisser's leg, And as Speckmisser was calming down but fearfully looking over his shoulder back into the darkness, he
tried to explain how the 'creature' had swapped at him with its huge claws and growled like a demon. "It lunged at me and I could feel the wind off its long claws against my cheek," he sputtered. "I ain't never seen nuttin like it," he sputtered.

Spectr peered off into the woodslot and saw movement. With a shout of alert, all stood at attention as LadyMarlin stepped into the glowing campfire light. "howdy fellows!" she called. "shore can't sneak up on this bunch, and ifin ya try, you get busted. Ole speckmisser decided to 'throw out the dishwater, just as I made my final approach to your camp. Once again, I am busted."

She peeked over at Speckmisser and whispered with a wink, "sorry about the pants leg thing, I really didn't mean to frighten ya that bad." With that Speckmisser turned every color of red in the crayon box....

[Speckmisser]

Well, ya oughtn't to go sneaking in on folks like that, Lady Marlin. ###You know, I only hollered so you wouldn't walk up any faster and get embarrassed or anything. ###And how do you make your teeth do that fang thing, dang!

Tell ya what, though. ###Them danged pigs... ###let me change my britches, put away this rifle, and pour myself a little shot of nerve medicine, then I'll tell you all about it. ###

Oh, and ya'll keep that wildcat over there by the fire where she belongs. ###Man, I ain't had a scare like that during a natural moment since I leaked on that racoon back home in the Green Swamp.

I rumble off to the truck to dig out some fresh BDUs, listening with chagrin to the laughter and giggles from the fireside. ###Man, there'll be no getting over this one. ###This'll be all over Jesse's website when we get home. ###Where's that Wild Turkey?

Fresh and dressed, I ramble back to the fire, and they're all sitting there, grinning at me like possums in a persimmon tree. ###I decide I'm gonna let 'em get it out of their systems, before I even start to talk about the pigs. ###

[Fubar]

I thought we were deer huntin. I didnt even bring any pig tags. ### ### ### ### ### ###Fubar

[Speckmisser]

Well, heck, Fubar. ###I didn't even know I was there, 'til ClickDog dragged me in all "Hot, dusty, scratched, poked and thirsty". ###You gotta be prepared, man. ###Like any good Boy Scout. ###I don't even leave the driveway in the tactical vehicle without a gun and all appropriate tags and license.

[BigDog]

And fresh BDU's in case of accidents....

[LadyMarlin]

thats right fellows, cause dem camo pants leave an awful feeling wedgie. ;) Be a good boyscout and "stay prepared". Best motto in the world, it is.

[Greenhorn]

Miss Marlin,Maam. Glad to hear that I'm not the only one who doesn't enjoy the fit from most surplus fatigues! Been looking for a good ###pair of jean-type hunting togs since my hellish descent into Salsipuedes Canyon during an A zone hunt in 1988. Every step out was a rubbing, restrictive nightmare. Oh yea, I missed the deer also, from a sitting position in my sleeping bag!

[Bigolwiggler]

Well boys , and miss Marlin , I know you-all are geetin tired of my pork and beans w/sausage. So Im gonna prepare somethin real special for ya tommorrow night.

How's beanee weenies sound. ........................Well dont all speak at once............................ ###I know , I know I usually save best for last but seein how Miss Marlin came to spend some time with us , I figured I'd pull out all the stops ! ......................

( the silence is deafening as I await an answer)

As I peer around , ###I take note of Fubar pulling what appears to be a Presto-log from his nose. A sure sign of many a mile on a dusty ###deer trail.

" OK then beenie weenies it is ! "

Hogskin pulls one last hard drag from the lucky strike and flicks it into a fire that is screaming for another chunk of pine.

[LadyMarlin]

..........the silence IS deafening as all await the "thud" of the "prestolog" that was flicked backwards off Fubar's finger................

Now as everyone prepared to settle in for the nite, not ###visions of sugarplums but beanieweanies will dance in their heads. Mamma in her kerchief.........oh wait.........wrong story.

..........still awaiting that "thud".

[Fubar]

Where is everybody? I came into camp tonight and everyone is gone. Why did you all leave without me. I been using deodorant. ### ### ### ###Fubar

[BigDog]

Darn, I do not know Fubar. I got up to go out and water a tree and when I got back everyone was gone. Not sure if they all called it a night or if it is because Bigowiggler cut another sharp one.

[Bigolwiggler]

Well due to the fact that ###Spectre has stumbled into camp ( not a little haggered looking ) ###with a creel full of fat Brookies , I quickly change plans for tomorrows dinner. ###

Brook trout Almondine to start things with a side dish of Garden salad with wild watercress and Miners Letuce sprinkled with bacon chunks . (Your choice of dressing). ###Hand rolled biscuits with plenty of butter and honey. ### This all topped off with fresh blackberry cobbler and a stout cup of fresh brewed folgers.

"Dont know why beenie weenies didnt go over that well", "Big-Ol" thinks to himself. ###

On this note ###I decide to turn in. ###

OOh that first 30 seconds into a cold sleepin bag is a killer, but it soon warms up with the assistace of one of my famous and rather robust"sharp ones". ###

"Hey Lady Marlin " I say with a snicker , " sounds like ###ya step on a toad ! " ..............................

[BigDog]

BigDog gets into his tent and starts getting ready for sleep, then he stops. "Brook Trout Almondine? Salad? Watercress? Biscuits and cobler?" BigDog goes out and makes a circle around the camp. "Bigolwiggler must have a truck out here somewhere if he has all of that stuff. And I bet he has some beer on ice that he is hoarding too. Hmmm, where could he hide it. Awwwwww, I bet he parked it down in that dry creek bed". And BigDog wanders off in search of a cold one.

[karstic]

"Whatcha doin out here so late BigDog?" I asked before I took another long pull off the cold one I found in the back of Bigolwigglers truck.

The half hour hike back to camp I planned turned into a 3 1/2 hour adventure under moonlight when the batteries in my GPS took a cr#@! Things weren't going well for my first deer hunt. I'm glad I talked BigO into truckin' in some beer for me thats about the only thing I'll be able to tag this weekend. Why did I let that guy at the Lem's Sporting Goods & Auto Parts talk me into the new Leuworski 2x50 scope. That thing was like looking through a PVC pipe in an outhouse, only thing I could see was s%$t, I knew I shoulda listened to the guys on Jesse's page.

Oh well at least I got good company at the deer camp. Hopefully they won't raze this newbie too much.

[Bigolwiggler]

As I doze off to sleep , a distant sound brings me back to consciousness.....I hear a dozen or so ### ### "psssst" ### ### ###"click" ###"sluuuuuurp" ###sounds , ###coming from the direction of my pik-em-up truck. ###

What in the world is that ?...............

Hmmm must be them coons back again , likin' the residue from them bean cans.

Oh well........hope they get their fill..........

Now.... where Now , where was I... Oh yea........zzzzzzzzzz......zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzz zzzzzz
pffffft ....grunt.....sniffle...sniffle.......zzzzzzzzzzzz zz.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
................

[E A Hunt]

ZZZZZZZZ ###ZZZZZZZZ ### ZZZZZZ ### ZZZZZZZZZ UGHHHHHHH ZZZZZZZZZ UGHH Z Z Z


What.... hugh...hey ...hey ....HEY!!!!!!!!!

Your peeing on my sleeping bag guy! ###(flashlite comes on)

Why I oughta you @$%S&^RE@. ###Is that you Bigdog ?

I thought I was the only one around more miles.

What are you doing out here at this time of nite ?

Long story E.A. sez the Dog. ###I'm kinda lost. My GPS aint workin.

Let me see it. ### ###This is a gameboy buddy !! Not a GPS

Dog cracks another beer and swears.

Another thing watcha doing out here in the middle of nowhere with one squishy boot on and a bugs bunny slipper ?

Shhhhhhh ###somebodys commin down the trail

[E A Hunt]

Quiet !! Put that lite out it might be...................


###Ol' George

[Fubar]

Look EA it is Ol George! And his good buddy Waterfowl Master. Master, pull up a log and have a seat and tell us some good yarns around the campfire. We are finishing off the beanie weenies. We were gonna have trout somethin or other but Jesse left em sittin om the tailgate while he went to get a knife to clean em. The next thing i know the racoons ran off with the whole mess. ### ### ### ### Fubar

[Tinhorn]

Sorry to Barge in on you guys, I was just looking for a Mcdonnel's fast food joint and got lost.......

Hey I got a tent just like that one over there, the tent poles go on the "Outside" of the tent, ###did you guys have any trouble putting that thing up? ? ? ?

[Fubar]

Tinhorn ###Never mind the tent. Go find that Mickey Ds and get me some Mc Nuggets and some frys. I been out here in the woods so long I am havin fast food withdrawals. I cant find any deer so tomorrow I think I will shoot me a couple of them Kaibab Squirrels. ### ###Fubar

[Arrowhead]

sorry for makin such a racket guys. Next time I'll try to get back to camp a little earlier. Looks like we got a full camp and can't wait to hear some more tails toomorrow.

pheww what's that god awful smell.... Guess I'll just move my bedroll a little up wind......

Have to share this little story with anyone that will listen. You can always tell when Jesse's been hunting an area. I was on a very well used game trail today and came around a blowdown and was blinded by this flash. Liked to scare the crap out of me. Well needless to say you can guess what I found strapped to a tree. He's in for a big supprise when he get's that roll developed.........

Night all. See ya in the mornin......

[BigDog]

Zzzzzzz……zzzzzzz….huh?..what? ###Oh, Big O is snoring again. Darn, that guy can bugle. Hmmm, what time is it. Well, it is a little early but guess I might as well get up now. Not going to sleep anymore with that racket going on. Where is that fresh set of clothes I set out?
There, now boots. Got to make sure I put on MY boots this time. Don’t need to be wearing Bunny slippers anymore.
Man, I have a bit of a headache. That will teach me to drink so much beer. Luckily, when everybody complains about so much being gone, I can blame it on Karstic cause he was there first …hehehehe
Some times I wonder about Spectr. He can sure do a good website, but when it comes to being geared up, he seems to come up short. We are way out here and he brings leaky worn out boots and a Daisy Red Rider. Hope he has a big knife at least.
Hmmmm, what is that hanging on the tree? Squirrels are not out this early. Where is my flashlight, oh here it is. ###YUCK, that is Fubar’s Presto Log sized buger stuck there…….. Yuck….
Ok, coffee is going, guess I will get my gear ready to head out. Have to watch out walking around, those tent stakes are murder on the feet. Hey, would ya look at that. Guess Lady Marlin wants to make sure to keep the critters out. She has a big padlock on her tent zipper. Hope she doesn’t have to get out in a hurry.
Ok, gear is ready, had my coffee, guess I will put the fire out and head out. Especially seeing as I am going have to go at least a mile from camp. There won’t be anything closer after all of this snoring….sheesh.

[Swampy]

ZZZZZZZZ..............Ouch, what the, hey watch where your steppin there BigDog. Damn, that"s gonna leave a mark. What kinda boots you got on there? Where did all these campers come from? Sounds like a Semi race track out here. ###Say, isn't that Ol George and WidgeonMaster sleeping in that Poison Oak thicket over there? He he.
### Good luck to you BigDog, Maybe I will see you out there today. OOOWWWW! Who left the Presto Log hanging in this tree. Damn, another mark. May as well put that in the fire. Wonder if there is any coffee left. ###

[HY Moose]

A big dude stumbles up wet and muddy and scratched and ###bruised. Coughing and cold he says" Don't worry folks I don't mean any harm I just been hunting bushy tail south A Effingham and seem to have lost my way last evening. So I got a couple questions just where the heck am I and just who the heck are you?" One of the fellers says .....

[Bigolwiggler]

Well come-on over to the fire and warm yer bones a bit (speckmisser throws on another log , and complains about the stench of that blasted presto log.)

Now before we answer your questions ,PLEASE take a comb and some spit to that hair and paste down that big rooster tail in the back or someones gonna shoot ya for a quail !................................