Jesse's Hunting > Hunting Articles > The Diana Factor (Women in the Field) > Getting Your Wife (or Girlfriend) to Hunt

Getting Your Wife (or Girlfriend) to Hunt

Holly Heyser - JHO ProStaff - Sacramento Area, CA
January 03, 2008

1. Invite her to come along on a hunt – “just for the ride.” We like being invited, and the number two reason women hunt is to be with friends and family, according to U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service data. She doesn’t have to do any shooting – just tell her you want her to share what you love about being out there. She’ll probably love the beauty of the quiet sunrise, the thousand and one sights of nature, and the sense of connection to the land. Chances are she’ll be surprised how exciting it is spotting game, stalking it or luring it to you, and actually getting it. It's like going to a casino - you may not think you're into it, but the prospect of “winning” something is way cooler than you expected.
2. When you talk about hunting, emphasize meat in the freezer. The top reason women hunt is for the meat, according to that Fish & Wildlife data. Unlike men, who grow up shooting everything in sight with their little BB guns, most of us women have an aversion to killing anything we won't eat. Senseless death really bugs us! For the same reason, trophy hunting isn’t so appealing to us – killing to get another stuffed head for the wall seems wasteful. It’s not that we can’t get excited about a trophy animal once we get into hunting; it’s just that it’s not a big selling point for the beginner. While you’re talking about hunting for meat, it doesn’t hurt to note that game meat is the healthiest meat out there – low in fat, and what little fat there is on that meat is way healthier than the junk you find on factory-farmed meat.
3. Emphasize a sense of partnership. Women want to be excellent partners. Some of the best feelings I have in the field are when my boyfriend and I are working together as a team. When he took me on my very first hunt - a wild boar hunt near Paso Robles, Calif. - I really enjoyed spotting game for him, even though I wasn’t shooting, because I was contributing to the act of putting meat in our freezer. Tell your gal it’d be great to have her out there because you don’t have 360-degree vision. Tell her you need her. We love being needed.
4. Prep her about what it means to kill. I grew up on a farm, so I was familiar with killing and dressing animals before I started hunting. But many women aren’t - in fact they’re afraid of it, and their aversion to hunting is rooted in the fear of inflicting pain. This is a tough one, because you know killing isn’t pretty. But you do not want her getting out into the field and being surprised when an animal doesn’t die immediately, when it kicks spasmodically after death or when it requires a finishing shot. If all she’s seen of hunting is the horn porn you watch on TV, she probably doesn’t know what killing an animal is really like. The problem is that society has sugar-coated all forms of death: People die peacefully in movies. Death-row convicts die quietly with a nice little injection. Farm animals die out of our sight, so we assume their deaths have been sanitized by modern science. Hunting shows gloss over the bad shots. All of this makes your job as the educator more difficult. Here’s the key to success: Does killing bother you? Most men don’t want to admit this, but if you feel a little stab of remorse when you kill, your wife is the one person you should confess to about it. Understanding that you don’t take killing lightly will help her understand that she doesn’t have to feel cavalier about death to be a huntress.
5. Think about her comfort. Women are built differently than you guys - our extremities get cold way more easily than yours do. This is a huge issue in the field: If we’re not comfortable, we just won’t want to be out there. You can’t change your wife’s physiology, but you can look out for her comfort. When you prep her on what to wear, that means understanding she’s going to be colder than you are. Even if you don't think you'll need gloves, encourage her to bring gloves anyway. Even if you don't think you'll need layers, advise her to wear them anyway. She can always strip off extra layers if she’s too warm, but if she’s too cold, all she’s going to want to do is go back to the truck.
6. Understand the bathroom issue. You guys have it so easy – when you have to pee, it takes so little effort. And boy, you’ll do it in front of God and everyone, no embarrassment whatsoever. For us, though, it’s a production. It involves baring everything, which leaves us feeling very vulnerable. Do not underestimate the importance of this issue! Tell her what conditions will be like, whether she’ll have a chance in hell of privacy. I’m a public-lands waterfowler, so I’ve gotten used to dropping my waders in close proximity to partners in my blind and within clear sight of other blinds 100 yards away. But it took me a while to get there. Your gal will really appreciate it if you’re understanding about how much she hates doing this. And she’ll really appreciate it if she knows you’ll look the other way when she has to “go,” and stand guard to keep her from being caught. Oh yeah: Make sure you have tissues or TP in your pack. Shaking is not an option for us.
7. If she’s just not into hunting, let go. I love hunting, and I’m starting to meet other women who do too. But some women just want nothing to do with it – they hate being cold, they don’t like guns, or they’re not comfortable with inflicting pain and death on living things, no matter what the potential rewards are. If you have a good relationship with your wife or girlfriend, she’ll support your passion for the sport even if it’s not her cup of tea. Let her know that’s OK. But if you’ve got daughters, take them into the field, because there’s always the next generation!

New Huntress Editor’s Note: Holly A. Heyser is our newest JHO ProStaffer, and will provide news, reviews, and insights from the female point of view. Holly is a former newspaper reporter and editor who now teaches journalism at California State University, S